Friday, February 29, 2008
1:23 AM
I'm here tryin to reply everyone..
Qin,
i'm not blaming u.. i'm not saying u did it on purpose. i always knew u all didnt mean it when saying tt.. all of u will tink more of a joke.. cos it's not the first time our team said tt to mi. I'm sorry bcos of all the tings happening.. i bcame more sensitive.. tt's why i put ur words to heart. I'm juz demoralised cos our teammates kept making this kind of comments. Just put u all in my shoes.. wont u feel demorallised if it's more than 1 person whose makin this kind of comment to u? erm.. dun need sorry la.. i'm just demorallised tt's all.. I'll be back dun worry.
About the drifting part.. after listening to what jo said.. and i agree with it.. there's no who drift away from who.. drift is juz drift.. so ya i m starting to understand this point. I'm just feeling drifted away after i break with her. tt's all. And i had to expect it. I've said all those bcos i miss the times with all of u.. So i'm here to say sorry abt the comment i've made tt u all drift away frm mi. =)
As the team for u not choosing mi... i nv blame u too la.. juz tt i was demoralised tt's why i felt tt way.. it's all linked up. But now i wont care who choose mi or dun choose mi, feel tt i'm useful or useless.. i'll just play my game.. I need to feel this way now.. =)
And i'm happy bcos i noe tt.. u are concern about mi.. tt's why u went to read my blog.. thanks! =) i just need to move on.. need to buck up.. need to step back into my working world. Thanks for everyone whose concerned about mi.. sorry tt i have bcame emo... i'm just trying to open up again, but this idiotic job screwed mi up. hahaha ok..
I'm sorry, qin and others. =)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
3:30 AM
I'm having Hectic life after chinese new year... Chinese new year's juz a period of time for mi to prepare for war onli.. war aft cny to chiong all my work. Sometimes i rather not have holiday which will only results in more work and more work.. super tiring.. it's been so long i've went shopping.. go out with my frens.. to sentosa and of cos my teammates. It's been like a drift between them and mi.. i've not been goin out with them at all... It's partly my work tt made mi so busy.. it's oso bcos they no longer link mi up with them animore.. Mayb becos of her.. But if it's better then so be it then. Sometimes.. then thought of what my mom says made mi sad.. "They are only friends with u now bcos they are young.. When they grow up, they have their own life.. When they haf boyfrens, husband and kids.. it'll no longer be the same.. all of you will eventually split up and walk seperate ways.. " It make sense in some way.. but i just wish we could be the same like last time... but mayb.. it's quite impossible now..
We finally started training after so long.. if i'm correct, i've stopped training for like 1 month le.. do all the runnings made mi sooo tired n weak. Training was quite sad.. i no longer have those strengths i used to have.. those hyper energy i used to have... at the end, we played 5 on 5.. it's comes to splitting of teams.. it made mi super sian.. cos none of them will choose mi.. as i m such a weak center. I just felt useless. But thanks to Janice.. she's the first to choose the centers and she chose mi. =) at least u made mi tink that i'm still useful in some way.. and i played hard. If the team show signs of discouraging... it's so hard to climb back up. I'm trying hard gals.. so pls at least give mi a chance and not toppled mi down without even trying to use mi. I mayb weak.. But i am reali trying hard. Words frm teammates can be discouraging too... I was on a fast attack.. i stopped and i tried to shoot.. and i missed.. one of my teammates commented tt heng she defended mi cos she knew i wont score tt ball. I juz kept quite.. Sometimes..why dont u all tink of hw ppl feels? by saying tt.. there's 2 outcome.. one- u inspired tt person n make her even wan to prove it to u... second- u demorallised tt person n totally made her felt useless.. i supposed u make mi bcome the second one.. I'm totally shocked it's coming out from ur mouth.. i will nv expect it'll come frm u cos all the long u did encourage mi.. it's a total disappointment..
If everyone's saying tt they are staying for mi.. why on earth must they demorallised me? although i noe they didnt do it intentionally... but it hurt mi. I felt so not the same animore in the team.. i felt like an outsider. all of u said i m the one who drift away.. it might be.. but how could i possibly drift away if all of u let mi drift away? sometings it takes 2 to clap. So many ppl said i've change.. i believe i do.. i'm so emo now.. all abt mi is onli work work work.. nth else. nothing in my life interest mi right now.. i duno why i am so emo.. but i'm so tired of acting in front of everyone. mayb seclusion will be a better choice... watever it is.. i'm getting back to my work now...
tt's all folks.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
3:46 AM
Hi first of all.. i need to thanks jo for the new set up of blog. =) Thanks mei! Credits all goes to her! hahaha!
Sorry to start the blog venting my anger.. but i'm too angry and i needed someting to vent on.
I dun understand what the hell My boss( Allen) sees in tt idiot! She's an idiot! Firstly, she could not do aniting to contribute to this company. All she do was to email, msn, email, msn. oh ya not forgetting to tok abt toking on the phone so loud. Can she be more considerate, and stop toking so loud on the phone trying to make the whole world noes that she's busy. She is just making everyone sees tt she's damn busy but she's doin nothing. We could be like doin 2 jobs in 2 weeks but she's onli handling 1 job for like frm the day she came till now! it's more than 3 months le! Cant Allen sees? It's freaking obvious. But instead of asking us to give her more jobs, he told my head to stop gving her ani job but let her concentrate on tt 1 single idiot job! By e way, tt job has been goin on for too long and it's not earning money at all. Why spend so much time n money on tt idiot job? Besides, tt irritating woman's pay is higher than mi! F*&* ! I've done so much and why is tt she got to haf all this previlages? Aint we human? Juz bcos she's wearing low cut and short skirts or shorts to work? And the worst ting is, she NOT PRETTY AT ALL! She's not slim either! Everyday wears like a mutated dumpling with too big boobs!! ARGH! What is it tt she has tt she brainwashed Allen? I'm freakin demoralised everyday looking at her! Just now she was sitting at someone else's table and chatting. Boss pay us to work and not to chat bimbo! i tink she's even worst tt bimbo! Aint malaysian and singaporean in BCI human? Why is it tt a new thai gal who juz entered our company got to go Bali? Wat abt others like joyce? Halim? or keah hui? They worked under u so long but wat did they get? No praises frm you or goin to bali! I dun mind i'm not chosen to go, but it's juz unfair seeing all this unfairness. I just cant stand it!
I'm goin to move to the new unit after cny, i pray tt the idiot woman will not go over. I'll juz kill myself man! Life without hockboon bside me toking cock will be so bored. i wonder hw i would survive there.. mmmmmmm....
Life has been rough.. And hopefully it will be smooth. Oh ya we had our seafood outing on sun! although it's a sentosa day for us, and it rained.. but shoppin ard with seafood fam is so nice.. i'm so happy reali.. =) Thanks stingray n lobster. =) Managed to get my first cny clothes! hahahhaa! oh ya and i changed my phone last week. so happy. I love my LG phone! =) i'm just hoping tt i dun haf to eat med animore. hahahaha. it's irritating. =P
It's holiday mood in my office rite now.. Nobody has the mood to work.. including mi as well. hahaha =)
