[Brand New] Best of Luck :)

Recent events

2009-03-23T10:52:00.002+08:00

I didnt know i hasnt been writing the blog since Jan! wow! tt's like 2 months already! hahahaha

Had a great v. day with baby where he bought me 2 gifts to trick me.. both of them are wrapped exactly the same, and the weight feels the same too! But i duno why and hw he could get me to choose the one he wanted me to. And i opened up the first one is a box of chocolate.. and he made me wait for another 24hrs to open the other one! He made me think the whole day! haahhahaa but thanks baby for the beautiful guess watch! =)

March

We did quite a no. of stuffs.
We went bintan! It's beautiful but things are quite expensive there.. we went snorkelling there which made us so tanned now! hzahahaha but looking at the beautiful fishes there.. all are worth it. =)

We went house-sourcing.. We have been looking the entire weekends.. it's so tiring but fun! i really hope we will find our love nest soon! =) hehehe.. will update u soon on the house we find..

Just sprained my shoulder aft sat's trg... I was so scared then bcos it was the same dislocated arm i dislocated 9 yrs ago. hahahaha but luckily it was just a sprain. cant raised my hand up high.. cant put in strength... cant move much... i need to see a sensei soon.. hahhaa anyway, we're not goin to play women's open anymore.. i tink i kind of feel sad........ tho i once said i dun wan to play anymore....

The New Year, November Romance!

2009-01-09T11:28:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone, first wishing all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! =) and also, Happy Birthday to Mummy, Siewling, Liping, Marc's Mom, Bro and My Darling Jean whose birthdays are in January!!! Happy birthday January Babies! =)

Many things happened in year 2008. Many things to think back and reflect on ourselves. But there are things which we shld move on and look ahead. And, marc ask me what's my new year resolution. And as usual i gave a stupid one. "To be ur good wife and daughter-in-law". It's true but i wouldnt wan to add things like "world peace" where there always wouldnt be. =) It's funny tho but tt's my resolution. hahaha!

During the last few days of year 2008, we aint preparing for christmas or new year countdown, but we're busy looking of hotels to hold our banquet. But it seems tt all the hotels are fully booked for our date! Oh ya! My wedding date will be 22-11-2009! Be there or be square! haha ok back to the topic, finally, we found Amara Sanctuary Resort @ sentosa. It's fabulous. The wedding planner toured us around the resort and i totally loved it! IT's SO AWSOME~! =) And without further consideration, we paid the deposit tt day and it's ours! I love the suites tt they are giving us which has a small outdoor jacuzzi and an outdoor shower! It's lovely i can tell u. =) Too bad our ROM date, the glass pavilion there is fully booked. Or esle i'll love to hold my ROM there! It's a pity. So we were just thinking of just goin to the ROM to sign and just go for lunch after tt. No invitation to our ROM, i'm sorry.

We bought our wedding rings already. Mine's a destinee and marc's not. We didnt get a pair, instead, we got someting we both like. But who cares right? as long as the ring is on our fourth finger.. we belong to each other! =) Did i mention we upgraded the proposal ring marc gave me? We saw a bigger one with the exact pattern and a brighter one when we're buying our wedding ring.. so we decided to upgrade it. and now.. on my finger is a much bigger and shiny-ier ring! hehehe..

We spend our christmas crashing my colleague's wedding! It was great! i was the bridesmaid and marc was the bridesgroom! it was ultimate funny, u could go to my facebook to see the pictures of him jumping of the flower! Hilarious! By the end of the wedding, our mouth were numb from laughing and our jaws are dropping. It's the best christmas i've ever had!

This jan is choatic for marc. He's been busy the first day he started working in 2009. He went reservist ytd and took leave from army to go vietnam for meeting today. Next week he'll be sailing on Tues, Wed and thurs. he'll be very tired then. I hope he'll be ok. JIA U baby!... JIA U... hugs..

Lob Bro.. hope u have a safe trip... Jo.. miss u man! take care!.... Jean.. pls meet up soon! and JEW.... take care!!!! oh and to everyone!!! i miss all of u and jia u in watever u do! Happy new year again! =)

Everyting need money..

2008-12-09T16:40:00.003+08:00

It's been bloody long ever since i've blogged.. Recent events will be summarised in short.. Had a fun bedok reservior run with baby, went to trg last sat and it ended cancelled due to rain, went robin's house for yakiniku which was so fabulous and a happy time with Ian and Rika! went shopping with marc on sunday night and monday!

My thailand trip was unforunately cancelled due to the closure of the airport tt time and the unsafe-ness singapore govt warned us. It was so sad tt i had to spend this 2 weeks of office closure in sg. But mayb it's time to reali save up some money.

Everyting needs money, from the day he chose a ring to propose to you to wedding, to even have children. We had gotten a wedding photo taking package which includes all the gown all that for around $3k plus. This doesnt include the amount u would spend after ur photo-taking.. which wil normally added up to around $5k plus. and let alone say we wanted it to be taken somewhere at the beach of malaysia... so it'll be like $6k? oh my freaking god! The next time is to see wedding bands... We have looked a numbers of jewelry shops and our choice narrowed down to Soo kee or Lee Hwa Jewelry. Never knew wedding bands can be this ex aft seeing a nice destinee wedding band at $2k plus for the female one onli. It's so ex! it's not as in the diamond is super big or wat... but it's still so ex. mayb i shld not look at the destinee series! it's over our budget!

The next ting is the date and the place of solemnisation. Marc say he wanted to spend ard 6k on a solemnisation?! tt's crazy lo! and the place is so hard to decide! and flats! we're spending so much just to get married! who on earth invented wedding dinner, wedding solemnisation or wedding ring??! It cost so much just to get married! why cant we do without it? hahahaaha i tink my mom will kill me if she sees this! hahahhaha

Back to work or else i'll be laid off! hahahaaha

Cheers!

missing him badly...

2008-11-10T21:06:00.002+08:00

Right now i'm in china...same place different hotel this time. But this time was sad because tml it's marc's birthday.. =( i've actually planned on bring him to cameron highlands as what he wanted. It meant to be a surprise but.. it was postponed bcos he went to india for work and will only come back on wed... and the most co-incident things is tt.. i'm leaving for china at the same time. I wanted to call him and wish him a happy birthday but it's 2 & 1/2 hrs slower in india than in singapore. By the way, there's no time difference for china and singapore. So, i duno whether i wan to call him at 12 of india's time or of singapore/china's time. But 12 for him would be late rite? and even later for me.. so i think i shall call him during singapore's time. It's his first birthday with me and i aint by his side.. but... i'll be by his side for the rest of his life.. so.... wat's better? hehehe! =P anyway.. i just wanna say i miss him so much.. i hope to see him real soon.. JIA U BABY! JIA U!! hope he's doin well at india..

He proposed!

2008-10-13T17:52:00.003+08:00

10/10 is a Taiwan's National day... It's also and will be a date celebrated by me and marcus in future frm 10/10/08 onwards. He proposed to me on tt day.

That day i went for my NUH appointment and he told me he'll take leave to accompany to go and ask me to take one full day leave as well. His reason was to rest. ok fine, so i went along. We were in the train to NUH and he asked me whether there's ppl proposing on the train anot. It didnt doubt me at all, and all i told him was "siao". Everyting went as normal as i went in for check-ups and all. I wasnt feeling very well after the doc and i took some medications and i began to feel drowsy. We went to eat and went home immediately. I slept the entire afternoon. Feeling much better, we agreed to go out with his best gay buddy, bernard. He was feeling kinda of down from his gf problems.

After getting dressed... he suddenly came up to me and ask me to close my eyes. I did as he told me to. When i was asked to open up my eyes again, a diamond ring appear in front of me.. and he asked: "will you marry me?" I was totally stunned. I didnt expect this at all. It was reali beautiful. He gently wore it on my finger. And i said;" i do". I was so red at that moment! but i was reali happy. He's intial plan was to bring me up henderson's bridge and proposed to me there... but i spoilt his plan! I was not feeling well and slept the whole day in his house. Although it wasnt as romantic as up on henderson's bridge... But it's his cosy room that we always spent time together. It was great enough.

Right now... i still couldnt believe all tt has happened. But the ring tt's on me is never wrong. It happened! =)

I love u... =)

BITCHES ALL AROUND!

2008-10-03T09:41:00.002+08:00

I'm here not to continue the pictures but to bitch about the bloody woman in my office! I wanted to nag to someone... but everybody seem so busy or like my mom, they dun understand! Yesterday i'm supposed to have a meeting with allen (my big boss) on the biggest project in my office. I was doin their softscape, so the PM insisted on going through my softscape with the big boss. FINE. The PM was asked to join in the meeting with us and then i know i'll have a hell of time. Allen was showing me all the pictures... and all i can say was ya, ok, mayb, this is the one. like my bloody sentences will not exceed more than 6 words! Then tt bloody woman starts bitching... oh ya, i also like this... this is nice as well..... oh rite, u're rite allen.. I CANT STAND IT! Stopping licking his boots for goodness sake! I felt like strangling her at the moment.. but i hold it back of cos. when it comes to my drawings, all criticised on my design altho he said he didnt criticise! I told him, i need him to criticise in order for me to improve then this bloody women start saying... oh ya, i looked through and i found it weird tt's why i insisted on u looking thru the whole ting. F***! U just ask me a question tt time and u told me u din look thru my drawing and now u start telling e boss that u did and u acted as if u know all the plants when u dun even have and idea of it! I felt being stabbed in my face! F***. Whenever there's design fault she'll push to me... but it's not my fault.. it's the LA! they wanted it this way! and i clarify with allen immediately. rmb there's one carpark without any planting on the landscape area then she pushed to me saying she asked me to put turf but she din! she ask me to take it out!!!! of cos i shoot her in her face as well! F*** man! i felt like stabbing her lo! i'm so freaking angry. Then when there's this hardscape prob, she should be the one to be blame becos she approved all the drawings but she pushed it to the thai office saying that it's their fault. But i doubt the thai office have seen this! why are this bloody indian woman so irritating. i cant work with her at all! i felt so fucking stress out! I felt so useless when allen stops on some of the pictures he showed me, and start asking me the name for the trees when they all looked so much alike! am i useless? i felt so incapable and not professional lo. i was so confident but... i just dropped to the bottom after that meeting.

Felt great nagging over here. but for those who read my blog, sorry for the pain to see me nag.
tt's all folks... i need to get stress with my tt proj le. haiz..... =(

Recent events

2008-10-02T10:32:00.009+08:00

To cut short and sweet for all the stuffs i've been doin all the weekends... pictures shows a thousand words.. so i shall post all the pictures up here. =)

Here's the pic of lob fam, celebrating for me my belated birthday!

me! eating at shokudo!

Our jo!

Here's the bro! lob!

us!

To be continued.....

Recent events

2008-10-02T10:32:00.001+08:00

2008-09-22T16:21:00.002+08:00

series of events happens since i last blogged... Was having bbq last week with marcus's gang.... brought lion along and u will see a stupid dog trying to run and play with childrens! hahahaha It's tiring.. but a fun day out! And!!!! i lost marcus' phone!. The big whoooha about this is... I DUN EVEN NOE HW I LOST IT! hahahaha but anyway.. thanks for marcus understanding and he calm me dwn tt day.. altho it was his phone. hahaha...last sat haf trg.. i need to get myself fit and well and stamined like hw i used to be.. so... the big workout thing will start TODAY! i'm goin to swim after work today!!! hahahaha i need to be disciplined! so... let see... monday swim, tuesday rest, wednesday running, thursday rest then fri swim again... sat and sun swim again since i cant go for training...i'm goin for F1!!!! so fast!!! it's coming coming coming!!! this weekend! hahahaha

Nth much to nag or grumble or to complain abt right nw.. everything's just welll and fine so far.. except for my bloody headache that's not resting at all.... and baby's irritating side effects aft his operation.. i hope he'll get well reali soon!!! and of cos.. i hope jo's alrite! JIA U MEI!!!! =) tho i'm not by ur side like hw ur baby is... but i'll be there if u need me to! confirm plus guarantee chop! hehehe! =) JIA U !

Had a Wonderful birthday

2008-09-10T10:10:00.014+08:00

08/09 was my so called birthday eve.. Was so glad my colleagues celebrated with me with a cake.. It wasnt like a yr ago where i celebrated my 21st. I was kanna sabotaged. That was the pretty much fun time i had although i was the one cleaning up in the end... This yr altho there's no sabotage, my team celebrated for me =) thanks! Gotten a gift from them which was a specially made box with tons of wishes inside.. thanks sinyi for making the effort to make! =)

Waited for marc till about 10pm... he's still busy.. persuaded me to wait for him in his house and i did.. waited for him as the time passed.. he's still so busy.. till 430am.. he finally came back... his work is so chaotic until he got to work through a night to even the next day. But at least even when's he's busy he called me at 12am to wish me Happy birthday. =)

We slept till 12.30pm the next day. he's still so tired but he made an effort to wake up. thanks baby. We ate and took a taxi to a so called surprise place for me.. we went sentosa! hahaha. When we reached there.. it was siloso beach resort we're goin. I'm surprised. Checked in and he showed me my presents. He had prepared me from top to toe outfit for the nite. For my birthday dinner. He bought me a white dress, a black heels and a chanel chance perfume. No wonder he asked me bring my make-up kit. =) i love it baby.. =) Aft tt we went for a walk to palawan beach to the 7-eleven and found our XO- cup noodles we have been looking for so long. hahahaha.. We went back to our room because the weather out there was just too hot. Just like pig, we slept again.. I tink we're 2 of a kind lo.. but i woke up earli and i tink marc's just too tired over his work the day before. Who on earth will work till 430am! -___- Woke up around 7 plus and we get prepared to go for dinner. i haven been wearing heels for such a long time and let alone say walk! hahahahaa but i still managed to struggle to the restuarant called barnacles. It's so nice.. Ate lobsters and all kinds of seafood there (i'm gonna scratch like hell soon!) and as usual, we ate so fast and left the place. Walked back and to Merlion and back to our room again. It's kind of romantic i can say. =) thanks for all the arrangement baby. Here's some of the pics:

Here's the entrance of siloso resort.

The big waterfall to the pool

On one of the roof

The plan view of the swimming pool

Me & marc! =)

@ The roof Garden

Take pics from the lift! =)

All Dressed up and go! =) ( i look fat here=( )

2008-09-02T09:20:00.002+08:00

Friday met up with qin, pek and jan... supposed to be hkn mates but most of them couldnt turn up. We ate Waraku that day and talk lots of craps that day.. Everything was so like it was used to be.. i'm so glad. Talking abt used to be.. I chatted with siewling on msn ytd and she was telling me that the team is goin to start from scratch. And i was like AGAIN? It seems to be our problem, we couldnt keep up to the standard when we were high up there.. we always seemed to slack after a particular competition then start from scratch again. It's like nv ending and it like we are nv goin to keep up to standard. She was saying that there's no leader to lead and noone to organise trips and outings to bond the team together like we used to. But the funny thing is where's such person when we all know such person has to exist? I've been thinking.. I might be able to organise trips and bonding sessions, but i might not be the best person to lead even if i'm the oldest there. Mayb we shld organise a weekly or bi-weekly meet up, but it's only if everyone's willing to contribute their time and effort to us. I wan to play this women's open beautifully. I dun wan to make history repeats itself again. Gals, Let's jia u ar!!!

Saturday as there were no training, marc and me went to the Comex at Suntec. It's hard to find us at this kind of event because 2 of us are one of a kind- we hate crowds! hahaha But unless there's something we're looking for. Got decieved by marc again tt we're goin to share the ipod touch as his Mp3 is retiring and mine-lost. Bought the ipod touch without any hestitate made me suspect him. In the end, it was for me. -____- It's not cheap tt's why i nagged at him.. u shld see his face when i nag at him. hahahaha.. i pursue him tt it'll be my birthday gift but he acted dumb, then in the end... i bought him a creative X-Fi Mp3 to replace his retiring Mp3! At least i felt better. =p hahahaha.. after the crazy squeezing with crazy crowds, we went back to his house, admiring our Mp3 on the way. hahahaha i tink we're like kids. hahaha. Thanks baby.. muacks

Works been fine i think.. i'm supposed to have 2 datelines on this thursday and friday but i'm so relax still. Maybe i think i'm able to finish... mayb tt's why? duno.. just feeling no mood to do anyting recently... =

I cant wait for the race to start!!!! it's end of the month!

=)

2008-08-29T11:37:00.003+08:00

It's a day without marc again... Sometimes i feel that i'm too dependent on marc... Without seeing him for a day makes my day gloomy and moody.. It just feels weird without him ard me.. Today he just flew to vietnam for meeting but will be back at night ard 11 plus. Ytd i flared at him while talking on the phone with him.. i was actuali angry tt he's goin to work despite his unwellness. I'm sorry baby. I know you're abt to take care of urself... but i'm just worried.. Sometimes i tink they shld open a class of worry management for ppl who worries too much like me.. hahaha.. Anyone who can treat me pls come forward! hahaha...

Today i'm goin to meet ah qin and jan for dinner! =) Initally i planned to meet the team up.. But it seems tt none are free according to ah qin.. but... we're still meeting.! Stopped training for a month already.. all the fats in me are all blurging out..OMG lo hahaha.. it's time to start the ball rolling and get some sweat off me! =) but i'm still lazy! haha. It's almost 1 week plus from marc's operation... He's recovering well.. speedy recovery baby! =) oh ya.. have a safe trip and go screw that ass off! hahahaha! i'll be waiting for him to be back!

ok.. i'm bored!

I've decided!

2008-08-25T17:50:00.002+08:00

Finally it's like almost 1 week from the day marc had his operation done. I'm so happy he's feeling so much better now. Just feeling an occasionally pain now and then and discomfort. I just hope he'll be fine real soon! Dun wanna see marc in pain anymore.

On saturday night... i had a long chat with marc... talking about the next day of registeration at IDP. But I've finally decided not to go. Marc asked to put on hold instead of putting off the idea not to go... but I've already decided not to go brisbane to study anymore. I still cant bear to leave everyting here and there's so much reason for me not to go. But my parents are so happy upon hearing that... i hope marc's happy abt it too.

mmm tt's all for my blog today. need to run to marc's house le! =)

Speedy recovery for my baby! JIA U!

It truely pains me...

2008-08-21T09:20:00.004+08:00

I'm finally back from work after 2 days of leave.. On mon morning.. i asked marc abt the appt he's goin the next day..then he let out the news that he's actuali goin for piles removal surgery and not appt. He kept it frm me for like almost a month from the day he seek for medical at SGH.. i onli got to noe somewhere in between but it's not the true. I wasnt angry with him but i'm so worried, as he expected. On the day of surgery, he was calm and happy and talking alot of craps... then he went in.. his mom and me waited for him while he's been operating. And when we get to see him... he's so much in pain. He's constantly groaning in pain, complaining that's it's too pain. The sight for him bearing the pain, pains me so much. It hurts me so much and i din noe wat to do.. All i can do is to touch him.. and ask him to jia u.. Medication and painkiller was given to him but it's not working at all. He was like in pain for 4 hours after the operation till he almost get warded for the day. But marc insisted on going back. He bear the pain in the car on the way back home. Every single movement seems like a torture to him.. i couldnt sleep for the past 2 days.. every single movement he make, wakes me up to check tt he's alrite. i'm worried.

The next day he's new and alrite. the pain is there but subsided alot alot. Seeing him smile makes me so happy. He's there joking and teasing me as usual but just now and then i could see him feeling uncomfortable. but it's such a relief.

Right now...i'm back at my work place.. Hoping baby will be alrite soon.. Actuali i'm tired.. i'm like always tired. hahahaa Get well soon baby!!! hugs

Weekend arrival! Catan Week!

2008-08-15T09:48:00.002+08:00

Has been down with gastric flu for like 5 days... or maybe 6? nearly got dragged to see a specialist to do some scope test. But right now i'm fully recovered! All thanks to my baby! He stayed over the whole weekend just to take care of me.. Right now, no pain when eating, no pain when walking.. everything's just great! Finally it's a weekend with no illness.. no pain... =) So happy...

When to NUH for appt on tues.. took halfday leave just to make tt stupid appt. Marc accompanied me there. Right now.. 2 weeks later i'll have to go AGAIN! It's wasting my leave man. haha. After the appt, we went orchard just to look for Catan. It's the board game i have been telling in the previous post. To my disappointment, It's totally SOLD OUT! can u believe it? A boardgame that is so famous till it's even sold out the whole of singapore? I was looking for it online for 2 days.. no hope, no news... onli the ones selling from ebay. Wednesday, Marc gave me a surprise too. He told me he's goin to bring me to a place where there's good food.. I was so stupid... i din even notice anything.. As we walk nearer and nearer to the place... i saw the signboard "Settler's Cafe". I was overwhelmed.. He found the boardgame! hahhaha He had reserved it and it's now mine!!! hahahahaha After that we went to Waraku pasta to eat. Over there i saw this pretty lady and i asked marc to see... He commented that she's not pretty at all. It's freaking weird for his defination of pretty lo. hahaha i just dun understand. It was then marc asked me a question "why are u always looking at girls? You noe it's pretty weird?" HAHAHA was my respond. So i think i am weird.. and he is too... cos he looked at man!!!!!!!!! hahahhaa we are just one of a kind. Who says women can look at pretty women? hahahaha!

Tonight.. we'll be goin to settler's cafe to have our Catan night! hahaha! i'm so excited! heez! Frens, you all shld try Catan one of the days! it's fun! =)

Back to my work now... oh ya.. cant wait for the F1 night race to start!!!! =)

i am surprised. =)

2008-08-07T10:43:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to every weekend with my baby... every weekend is so great.. altho some weekend we may not be doing anyting great... but being just beside my baby is good enough.. =) Maybe all of u might say it's just the honeymoon period.. to me, be it honeymoon or wat, i just wan to be with him.

Recently went to batam again with marc and his uni gang. It's just entirely superb fun! Altho we just slack the whole day with them.. but it's relaxing. Learnt a new board game which is so fan.. the name is Catan! Played the whole day with them with sheep, wheat, ore and wood.. it's so fun. Actuali it's the first time i enjoy so much with my boyfren's frens. =) Cant imagine wat they did during their uni days.. and cant imagine wat my baby did for just $30 aussie dollars! hahahaha i tink if any of u noe wat he did.. all of u wont even dare to dare him. hahaha.

Had dinner with bernard and his korean gf.. heard abt wat he did and wat he buy for his gf, it's not envy lo.. it's waste of money to me.. and to me.. having to spend so much on a gf when he's not even working.. i tink he wont be much of a husband when he got married.. but duno.. he said he's getting married next yr... all the best any way. =)

Had a great surprise from marc on friday lo. he shocked me la. i'm not goin into details hw he shocked me.. but he bought me a diamond necklace. it's a shape of a star. He said it meant tt i'm the star of his life tt wont stop shining.. I LOVE it... i teared when he put it on my neck secretively.. i tink he spend alot.. thanks baby.. i love u...

Was so sick ytd.. out of no reason i've got gastric flu... i was in pain the whole day ytd but the pain got worst aft lunch. so i was bearing the pain for 4 hours until marc came and send me to the doc. Walking and sitting and even lying was painful ytd.. every step i take back to my house is a torture. but luckily marc is there to hold me.. he wanted to carry me back but i was wearin a mini skirt. hahahaha.. i'm now resting at home.. feeling so much better le.. thanks baby.. sorry i let u worry... actuali i'm still worried abt the check up u're goin to do in 2 weeks time.. but there's nth i can do but to stay by ur side.. jia u baby... =(

Wat's next?

2008-07-30T10:07:00.002+08:00

Went to garden fest again ytd with my colleagues. Noticed the amount of changes were made from the first day.. and the flowers are withered. It's kinda of sad. But I walked around the place the second time and noticed more things... like the specific flowers they used and all. Mayb it's true that u wont be able to notice everything the first time u go. I'm glad i was given a free ticket from my colleague. Thanks joyce! Bought 2 cactus back and i place them in the office! So happy! After everyting i went straight to marc's house. He's having bronchitis. So worried. Hope he'll get well real soon! He was given 2 days mc.. but as usual he went to work the next day. He's just too workaholic..

So fustrated when i went home from marc's house with a running nose. It's so suay la! I wan to be ok! i wan to have a nice weekend! No more illness plssssssssssssss! Right now... the nose just jogged once a while.. I cannot afford to be sick! Damn it.

Worries continues..

2008-07-29T09:02:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was great... having a great chat with siewling when i visited her. Just like old times.. and i missed her goldie! She simply just hope towards me when she saw me.. and i really saw an aging golden..but at least she's healthy. =) Left her house nearly 11pm then took cab home.

Reach work early today because there's no happy meal in the morning. =( Marc's sick again. His sickness lasted so long.. since that day when we had friendly with stackers. He goin to see doc and i really hope it's not bronchitis. I'm really praying lo. haiz. =( Even tho he's not working today... he cant even have a proper mc. He's goin to work from home. -____- it's really wat the hell lo. I just hope he can have sufficient rest. I can give everything for the exchange of his well-being. God bless him.

Going to site now.. Hope i wont get bad news from him..

God bless siewling, huiqin, phyllis, ah qin and jan for good recovery..
God bless zhengfang, jo and nik for good health and everyting smooth sailing.

天下没有不散之宴

2008-07-25T12:24:00.003+08:00

People have been telling me this is their last yr playing for hkn.. some knew where they are going next while others are still thinking about their future in basketball. Basketball has always been a game that unites all my teammates as one.. and certainly, it made me know all my fellow friends. During these 8 years of my basketball, there are so much people who came and left.. from teammates that we see every week and even most of the time.. to hi, bye friends... To think back, this is what i called- LIFE. 天下没有不散之宴。

I told them i am playing my last year too.. It seems that after i left... maybe there aint any hkn anymore. It feels kind of sad to think that i have to leave the team that i've been in ever since i graduated from secondary school. I think it's 舍不得 ba. Nikkole was telling me she's joining back dragonboat's team and she missed her netball too. I think i'll miss balling alot after i quit ba. I'll miss all my fellow teammates as well. Gals, whereever you will be next time, i hope we gals can always remember that we are great teammates once... and we will always keep our hkn spirit no matter what you all do- chiong ar!

Since it's our last year in hkn for so many of us.. let it be a memorable one. Let us leave with no regrets.. Let us do our very best for this very last time.. Let me have the honour to play one last year with all of you.. so i hope everyone is sincere in playing and of cos come for training pls. we don't want to be there begging for people to attend training.. We wan all of you to come on your own account..

JIA YOU team hkn.

I dun wish to lose a friend.

2008-07-24T13:51:00.002+08:00

Met nik for dinner on tues. Her friend came along to join us. Her name was Marinda. Marc says sounds like a canned drink name. wat the hell lo. To my surprised... Nik's bf broke up with her on her bday! Wat a bastard man.. how could he have chosen such a day. I'm worried abt nik but she seemed very calm abt everyting. Accompanying her till 10 plus then i went home. Sorry gal i cant be there for u when u need help. JIA U!

Ytd went to watch Np's match... so sad got trashed by ite. But i could see all the juniors improving. Bob, dun be too upset over the match... JIA U k? be more tough and chiong all the way in k? Jan, u need to qie like wat u used to.. dun tink so much k? u can do it de.. and take care of ur injuries.. jia u NP!

Was talking to ah qin abt me and siewling.. Actuali i'm happy she's willing to be friends with me again. Altho i duno hw true this can be.. but i hope it works if both sides makes an effort.. so i decided to start the move by asking her whether i could visit her. To my surprised, without any hesitation.. she agreed. Thanks sl.. thanks for allowing me to be friends with you again once more. I hope everyting works out well, i hope we can talk again.. i hope we wont be like strangers on court or even off court. It may seem awarkard but i tink it's worth giving it a try.. Thanks marc for understanding everyting. =)

tt's all folks for today.. i hope everyting will be well for everyone esp those who are injured...
Huiqin, siewling, phyllis, ah qin, jan.. get well soon and get back on court! JIA U!

The Last day.

2008-07-22T09:49:00.002+08:00

The last night at the wake was so difficult to pass by.. by 4am, all the ppl are asleep except me and my sis.. we haven even shut our eyes at all. We have been keepin an eye on my grandpa to prevent cats from coming. The Night was long. So long. Finally it was 7am and i went off with my cousins to get macdonald's breakfast for everyone. 22 meals is alot and the macdonald's staffs were shocked. Everyone ate and the pastor came.. We sang the last song and the last prayers to my grandpa and he set off... walking behind the van he's sitting was so torturous.. everyone started crying.. crying so badly... i am trying not to cry at all.. holding back my tears.. walked some distance then we took deliang(my sis bf)'s car to Mandai. On the way there, everyone kept quiet. We went into the hall when we reached. There laid my grandpa's coffin. Everyone sat down to listen to the pastor once again. Aft tt, we are to see my grandpa for the very last time as we offered him rose at the same time. I held back my tears when i see him and i said good bye to him.. When he was pushed away.. i dare not watch at all.. cos i'm afraid of crying.. we then walked to the viewing hall to watch my dad pushed in for cremation. I saw my grandpa slowly pushed in and i started to cry.. I'm still not strong enuff to hold back my tears. I cried sliently and i cried even more when i saw my dad's eyes reddened. He's holding back all this while. JIA U dad.

Aft all tt has been done, everyone's so tired. It's sad but it's the truth.. the world wont stop evolving without u.

Thanks Lob bro and jan for wanting to come to the wake but i understand because both of u have polite. Sorry to jan to cause misunderstanding, i din mean much from my previous blog. I'm just upset over my grandpa's departure.. and i'm feeling down.. tt's why i wrote someting like tt. It doesnt mean it's u k? dun take it to heart. But i thank u bcos u haf the heart to come and tt's good enuff le. thanks alot.. =)

I'm so tired.. I need a break..

I miss u grandpa...

2008-07-18T14:08:00.002+08:00

I was sick on wed, thus i din watch NP's match again. I decided to go home and rest so i went home early, calling my mom that i'll be going home for dinner. Everythings seems well... reaching home, i sensed someting weird. The door's totally locked and the food are cooked half way. I called my mom and her phone rang at home.. i was more stunned. Then i called my dad to know that my grandpa passed away... It's so sudden. So damn sudden. I wanted to go over, but i was asked to stay at home and wait because there's nothing i could do there and i was sick too. I waited for them to come home and got to know grandpa died on the sofa. He was well at 2pm that day and he even called my dad... but around 6pm, my uncle found him dead on the sofa half naked. He lied there motionless..cold and stiff.. Then they waited for the docs to come and prononuced him dead.

The next day was tiring.. everyone couldnt sleep at all the night when we know grandpa passed away. We woke up earli in the morning and set off to my uncle's house because the funeral is held at his void deck. We waited for the singapore casket to set up everyting and then they pushed my grandpa where he's sleeping in his nice coffin in. Everyone went forward to see my grandpa.. everyone started weeping.. i cried too. It's the first time i saw grandpa in such a nice shirt. Grandpa, u look so handsome and great. =) We started to get busy with all the stuffs. Grandpa is a christian since 1999 so tings are much more easier than chinese funeral. Cos there are less things to prepare. Everyone's so tired.. and i see the tired eyes of my parents i wanted to cry.. I'm being strong this 2days... I nv cried since the last weep. I wanna be strong. I didnt dare to go close to the coffin because i'm afraid i'll cry again.

Marc came down yesterday.. i miss him so much.. he's my emotional support. thanks baby, although i can see u're still not well enuff but you still come down. thanks baby..
Yesterday alot of my sis's colleagues and friends came down.. i started to reflect on myself..
Where are all my friends when i need them? I didnt tell much ppl tho because it's not a good thing to announce too. But it seems that i had no close frens except jo. Jo told me she couldnt come down because of her religion thingy, i understand. And i didnt even told her about this. This is what i called true fren ba. Thanks jo.

Today i'm goin to see grandpa again later.. Today will be his last day... He's goin tml.. I hope i wont cry tml.. i hope i wont break dwn when i see him goin in tml.. I will miss u grandpa..

Worries

2008-07-15T09:30:00.000+08:00

It's been a worrying weekend... Marc has been sick the whole weekend. We are supposed to go henderson bridge on friday and i'm supposed to make him jump on the bridge with the GP tickets that i've bought but we didnt go in the end bcos he's so sick. In the end i surprised him with the tickets in his room. =) I'm glad he's so happy abt it. Although marc was nagging at me for spending so much money.. but wat's $600 to exchange for my baby's smile and happiness? I dun mind spending tat amount just for tt. =) ok all of u must tink that i'm crazy. haha.

I duno wat to say but i'm so touched that despite being so sick, marc insist to watch my frenly match against stackers.. being blown by the wind at the court. i can see he felt worst. the constant sound of him coughing and sneezing makes me lose concentration of the whole game... but when i'm in the game... i gave my best, team! =) i tink becos i hadn't eaten for the whole day, i seriously nearly black out during the game.. lucky hock seng sense someting wrong with me and sub me out. didnt wan to scare anyone including marc.. so i kept quiet. But aft resting, i felt much better but when he put mi in the game again... i'm constantly out of breath. i tink i need to train up my stamina or shld i say eat? haha. Aft the game, marc sent xinying to the mrt and lob bro home. He looks better on the way home.. but at night.. everyting seems terrible. He's terribly hot at night. He looks terrible and i'm so worried. I kept waking up to check on his temperature jus to make sure he's alright. I tried my best to make him feel better, but it seems tt he's more xinku.. =( But i'm so glad he's so much better now..! Get well soon baby!

I felt sick but i dun wan baby to worry but i tink he could see tat i'm not well. Ytd i din go to watch Np vs Tp bcos i wasnt too well... sorry jan... sorry bob.. but i'm so glad tat they lost onli by 10pts! hey gals.. u see u all can do it! dun let others look down on NP! =)

It's so weird that i'm losing my appetite greatly. I dun feel hungry at all and the sight of food makes me full already.. even if u hand me my fav. fries in front of me right now.. i could tell u,'no thanks'. For the entire 4 days... i ate too little i tink, till my gastric kept complaining.. and mayb tt's explains the floating feeling when i ate too much med and too little food. i duno wat's happening to me... Am i too worried or wat? i duno.

DONE! finally!

2008-07-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

It's been months that i'm being involve in this bloody china project! It's torturing man, as the site was so big that it equivalent to more than 10 soccer fields man. And this is just 1 phase of it only! I cant believe i'm handling it. hahahaha. Finally today done and finished and submitted for my phase II part 2 zone 2! It's finally done! But i'm 1 day late. I must keep with the schedule man to prove my efficency man! hahaha. Currently i'm slacking here and waiting for the time to pass. Finally a chance to slack. I have been freaking stress out with the woman beside me couldnt finish cadding it for me.. =) now it's all done.

Marc was showing me this news on australia that gays are able to have children using rent-a-womb women. They are able to select the sexes of their childern but they had to pay like US$80k! Of cos it's not them who bear the children but the women. It's reali wat the hell lo. It's like every weird thing is happening in Aussie! hahahaha But tt's interesting to know too. But what i can say is Gays in Aussie are bloody rich! hahahaha!

Cant wait for work to end to watch my KungFu Panda with marc. hahaha It's been like weeks that i wanted to watch.. FINALLY! thanks baby... Marc was telling me he saw sloggi looking for the nicest ass on newspaper... hahaha i strongly suggest Marc to go.... hahahahaa cos HE'S GOT A NICE ASS!!!!!!!! opps... i think he'll kill me for saying that in this blog.. but who cares right? hahahhaha!

Don't worry baby, i'm feeling better now.. not so stress up thanks to you.. I'll slowly adjust myself and not to think so much k? =)

Loves.....

Quick tempered

2008-06-30T14:52:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking and wondering wat's happening to me.. i'm becoming more and more quick tempered.. i kept venting my anger on marc.. i kept feeling unhappy for no reason.. mayb there's reason but i'm running away from it.. i duno... I've been feeling on the verge of tears for no reason.. someone help me pls... i'm goin bonkers i tink..

Training finally resumed.. onli like 12 ppl turned up for training.. There someone who told me they're coming ended up disappearing.. come on..grow up.. be responsible! We had fun though, was like only playing 5 on 5 throughout the whole training. And Xingying's back =) i hope she could stay even when her uni sem starts... cos i noe uni has very busy schedules. Jia You ba! Got to know tt DOS is sponsoring hkn now.. was quite surprised as Uncle andrew once told me he dun like MJ. Weird weird. After training, i went to meet marc for dinner. The attacks for my headaches is becoming worst... tt's sat aft training it was terrible.. i'm sorry i made u worry.. and it was then marc told me tt mayb the reason why i always cant hear wat he's saying is bcos of my headache.. mayb it's true.. mayb... but i noe the headache slows my activity.. it just affect my everyting.

Sunday went to Eric's baby shower. She's beautiful. And marc was saying tt no boy is more handsome than Ian. i believe too... Ian is the son of Robin n Aryuko. He's mixed bcos his dad is sg n his mom is a Jap. So.. the look is rather exotic and handsome is the word. Rika who's Robin and Aryuko's second child looks so beautiful too.. it's like the product of a jap n a sg is a perfect combination. hahahhaa it's a pity i'm not a jap or a eurasian. hahaha After tt we went to Tiong baruh plaza to watch WANTED. It's a interesting tho it's a bit exagerrating. hahaha. love it tho. Guess who i saw when i came out? Lob! hahahahaha. was so happy to see her =) After the show i wanted to go home.. sorry baby i spoil ur day again. =(

I'm thinking too much i tink... stressing myself too much too.. been unhappy and moody. i wasnt like tt in the past. duno wat's gotten into me. Anyway baby's sick now.. i hope he's ok soon... pls be ok... i'm so worried..........JIA U.....

Happy!

2008-06-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

Wasnt feeling good today.. Had 5 runs to the toilet the whole day... Now i'm feeling like thousands of needles piercing my head right now... The head weighs a thousand kg... =( My eyes are closing as i type on the keyboard.. I was really working the whole day today... Marc's feeling so stress everyday.. i hope tomorrow will be better for him... JIA U...

Yesterday i had a great news! My mom actually told me not to take bank loan for my studies.. she told me to use my dad's money which was supposed to be bro's education fund but of cos i haf to return otherwise my bro neednt go to uni. But it surprise me alright. I'm so relief to know tt too.. right now the burden of returning the interest and loan to the bank was gone! Right now everything would be even easier now. I'm so happy. =) Thanks Mom & Dad!

i tink tt's it for today.. i'm not feeling well.....

A long long way to brisbane...

2008-06-17T09:29:00.000+08:00

It's a long long way to brisbane..

Weekend's great.. saturday was busy.. went to IDP earli in the morning. Talk to the ppl there and got all my doubts and questions answered. But actuali it's no difference from finding the answers from the net lo. haha But he's frenly enough to confirm all my questions. So, Brisbane or Perth.. i tink i'll go for Brisbane altho i wanted to take LA so much. Money is a big issue if i wanted to take LA, so the only choice i had is Brisbane- horti. It's isnt tt bad either cos i like plants too. After that, marc drove me to redhill where i took train home and he drove to work. He's been so stressful with his work till he need to come back even on sat. Before that we went to Botantic Garden food court to have our lunch. I love the duck rice there! And it's been like 2 years since i last went!~ hahaha! i'm so satisfied! hehe.. Aft tt went home to wait for time to pass to go training. But... Training was cancelled. SAD. Due to the low attendance, the training is cancelled. I was like talking to phyllis online about the training. I'm sad because it seems that everyone is not focusing on training... everyone seems abit bo xim in training hard for the Women's open this yr. Gals, altho the competition is still far away.... but practice makes perfect. And rmb, our stamina sucks. I really hope to play my last year with no regrets with all of u. I'm serious. I'm leaving next yr. I even haf to give up ngee ann alumni. I hope everyone will be training hard. And i wan to leave with beautiful memories. Win or lose doesnt matter the most, it's hw untied we stand. It's the process of us fighting.. fighting our very best... JIA U hkn...

Sunday was a slacking day... Bro came n stayed in Marc's house. we went swimming and slacking.. End of the day, we went to eat father's day dinner with my dad. Everyting was fine and well... thanks baby...

Yesterday had some quarrels with marc. Not exactly quarrels but onli my side. I was angry with marc bcos the way he trys to ask me someting or tell me something make me felt fustrated. It's like one moment he encourages me and scolded me for giving up my dreams, another moment he asked me whether study is so impt to me. I misunderstood him and i was so angry with him. But he kept his temper cool all the way just for me. Thanks baby.. i'm so sorry too. After tt then i noe, it's just his worries.. he worries alot.. alot more than me.. he's just afraid he'll fail there and he wont be able to support me with good life.. baby, it's alright.. i dun need good life... i just wan to be with u tt's all.. it's not abt me sharing ur happy times only... but it's abt me being with u regardless u're successful or failure baby.. It's because i wanna share all the responsibility, but u always keep them away from me.. i dun wan u to shelter me all the way.. i wan to share the burden with u baby... pls pls.. learn to share with me... i love u..
Aft tt i went to ngee ann training.. training was tiring but great.. cant stand the fact that we lost to the juniors man!!! i dun believe it man... haaha they are good.. but we aint tt bad too! hahaha... So long never see bob le.. finally she's back! Was great playing with her again altho we are nv reali in the same team b4.. =) But i do love playing with her... Aft tt we went to eat tgt with the juniors. Jan didnt join, duno wat happened to her but i hope she's ok.. Jo, JIA U too hor! you can do it~!
Today is another day.. i hope marc's work wont be as stressful.. JIA U EVERYONE! =)

loves!

The bright beginning..

2008-06-11T10:34:00.000+08:00

It's a bright beginning right now.. after quarrelling with my parents and all, my parents nod with slight dismay. The nodding just excites me and make me so happy. Marcus told his mom about our plans also, to my surprised, she didnt object but she's overwhelmed by the decision. That's actually expected reaction by marc, but to normal parents i think they will not be happy. Weird Weird. Well, at least it's a good start for me right now.. I'm so looking forward to everything! I'll be going to the IDP this coming saturday to enquire everything on my course. So, might be applying then too.

Right now everything has gone smoothly and i really hope nothing would screw up. I hope baby will get his work permit successfully and we could be there together, if not i'll be alone.

Couldnt work today, all my designs just dun seem to work and piece together.. I kept erasing and re-drawing them all over again. I've been thinking alot alot. =) I hope everything will go well... i'm praying.. If marc's goin, i'll definately bring lion over because it will be for sure that i'll stay more than a yr. So... i cant leave lion off sight... so, he'll has to sacrifice the motherly love from my mom, his fantastic home-cooked dinner and the tolerance to air pressure on the plane. Sorry darling..HUGS

I just dun understand.

2008-06-10T10:27:00.000+08:00

Ytd i am so sure and firm tt i wanna go brisbane and study, i even found pekpek to adopt my 3 lovely hamsters. Today, right now, i'm so unsure again. I had a big quarrel with my parents ytd abt this. They actuali objected the idea of me studying aboard. I noe i could just go even they object.. bcos i'm no longer a kid anymore..but all i wan is their support! And when i ask them, they just keep quiet. They even say they'll onli support me if onli i were to study in singapore. I explained to them a thousand times the reason for studying aboard.. but they just dun understand. Ytd my mom ask me, "Can u reali make up to uni?" i felt so offended! I'm ur daughter, why cant u just trust n be confident with ur daughter than to doubt her ability? I reali dun understand them. Of cos as marc describe me as a walking time bomb, i exploded ytd to my parents. I was saying why n hw can i just be their perfect daughter? why must they always say hw good other daugthers are compare to us. Aint we good? why must u make those comparison? They are making me super fed up ytd.

I was still determined to go aft thos quarrels but... now tt i saw marc's blog.. i've nth to say.. i duno wat to do. I broke up his plans n all our future plans. I made him feel uncertain abt our future.. i made him leave this safe zone.. and i made him questioned his future and career. And i've forgotten.. he's not young anymore to take all these nonsense with me.. mayb dreams can onli be dreams... there's some point of time, cinderella didnt meet her fairy godmother and her wish didnt come true at all...

I'm so confused.

Leaving

2008-06-09T10:49:00.000+08:00

I didnt noe the decision i've made will cause so much commotion. I didnt noe the thought of pursuing a degree will made marc so stressful n fustrated. I'm sorry. If i know u'll be like tt, mayb i wont even mention abt it. He's just always trying to make my every single dream come true. He bought a laptop, a phillippe starck watch for me just bcos it was written on my blog and my previous old blog. -____- Thanks baby.... Thanks for always tinking abt me..

Thinking for so long... i'll made a final decision soon. Marc will be goin to brisbane with me if i nod my head. He say he'll find a job there and work there, with me studying. i'll be a dream come true i noe, but it'll be tough on us. He had to sacrifice his career here, his plans dwn here and everyting to just go with me. I didnt noe wat to say. If i wanted to join the feb admission, marc says he'll go there in nov or dec to settle dwn there first b4 i come.. He's just always tinking everyting for me. He'll find accomodation and everyting for us. Then when i come, everyting is settled. I m dumbfounded when he told me this. I didnt noe wat to say. I'm sorry baby... U made me felt so loved.. thanks baby..

This yr will be my final yr of basketball. If i nv leave, i tink i wont stop. So this will put to the stop of everyting. Right now, it's just me... whether i wan to go anot.. whether i'm able to leave everyting here and go for my dream anot.. whether i'm letting marc suffer with me anot.. i duno...

Is tis all i could do?

2008-06-06T14:16:00.000+08:00

I've pray for the day to come.. looking ways n means to go.. n i once gave up. Gave up the idea to study overseas.. I was tinking abt tt this whole week when all my frens encourage me to study again. I looked for loans, schs and course fee n everyting. But everyting is just so expensive! My big prob is now money. Can anyone tell me what i could do? I wanted to give up bcos there's nth much i could do if i reali wan to go. My parents' are not goin to sponsor me at all, not even the interest. I was tinking of take study loan, and maybe they could help me alittle on the interest part, but after last night i knew it's impossible to ask them for help. Why wat ever tings i do or plan to do, they'll surely discourage me. why? not even words of encouragement. I so fed-up. Why is it me tt i haf to give up my studies for my sis n bro? why is it that they can study wat they wan and i had to do it myself? I'm so sick abt everyting. They ytd told me they had an issurance policy for me, but u know wat? They cancel all the siblings' policy except mine bcos it was a MISTAKE. They are supposed to haf my bro's but the insurance agent got it wrong n cancel all except mine, so they say they kept mine. i was like WTF ytd!

This is life, reality... it's not watever u wan or wan to do, u can haf it or do. It's not tt i'm not trying hard. But it always seem so far away... You could go with ease, but i cant.. i need to depend on myself.. it's not as simple as i tink. it's so difficult.. I felt like giving up.. =(

Past and Present

2008-05-30T02:49:00.000+08:00

Last week:
Last thrusday was pekpek's bday... Happy birthday to her.. Didnt celebrate with her bcos she had training on tt day, so she'll celebrate with Team TP instead.. sometimes.. it wouldnt be the same anymore...
Fri, Mao's 21st birthday.. Went to her chalet after work. Saw everyone there.. everyone who are the past and present hkn team. I was so happy. Happy to see them again, to see their crappiness and happy times together.. missing them but i'm happy with the current team too.. ( later they say i biased. haha). Finally mao's 21!!! hahaha And welcome to the twenties gang! hahaha was bbq-ing until we started our disgusting games. shall not go into details otherwise everyone viewing my blog will start to puke. haha. around 2 plus everyone starts to go home, so i called marc and was happy that he's still awake for me. =) Thanks baby. Drove me to his house and i haf a great sleep. The next morning msg huiqin and jan to tell them i couldnt go training bcos i'll be flying on sunday evening and i haven even packed. In fact i'm nt able to train due to the slight dislocated thumb. Slack my day thru and went to my house to pack while marc went to work. Met his family for dinner and bought a laptop! It's a awesome laptop! =) A laptop with a remote control! i'm totally amused haha. Thanks baby.
Flew on sunday evening. It was totally tiring.. bcos i reached hongkong around 10plus goin to 11. Check in my hotel and the next morning 7am, i had to rush to the ferry terminal to take the earliest ferry to china. we even skipped breakfast and had salad for breakfast. i ate alittle and felt uncomfortable on the ferry. Reach zhongsan ard 11am then there's someone to pick us up to the site. Immediately, we went to work without our lunch. begin to felt dizzy and naseuous when we had our lunch during 4pm. I felt real sick but had to continue to work. Ate little for dinner and went to the hotel feeling super unwell. The next morning is the same but had to work again.. walking the site over n over.. Left site at 3pm alone.. bcos my colleague got to stay for another day and i decide to leave. reach hongkong 530pm. first time, in overseas alone.. wasnt scare either bcos i noe hw to speak chinese. hahahaa can ask ma if lost. hahaa. reach singapore around 12am. Marc came to pick me up from airport then he sent me to his house. then next day i've got to work.
Was feeling sick and tired and i was on MC yesterday! feeling much better now.. and i tink i'm allergic to china! hahaha i dun wish to go back again! damn sian! hahaha..
I didnt noe i've made marc feeling so sad when i'm injured. i'm sorry. And thanks for ur understanding all this time baby. I wont feel so stressed up le.. so dun worry k? and i love u =)

The past and present hkn. i miss all of u. =)

-__________-

2008-05-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

Been pretty free now, therefore i shall update my blog. Had my sort of first quarallel with marc tt day after RP match... was feeling sad and demoralised after the game, after i recieved his sms i was so sad yet a little angry. i understand his intention, his concern, but in the past to me, basketball was the most important ting in my life. I could say even now ba altho not as much as b4... Altho i know i wasnt well enuff to play tt day, but i will play... altho i noe i'm in pain, i'll still play.. I'm sorry but i juz couldnt stop. I've been like this for yrs in my life.. it's hard for me to control myself..

Sprained my thumb during last training. It's swollen and there's bruises on the whole palm. I'm sorry i've made marc worried again. Hopefully it'll be alright so i could train on fri n sat. And jan... I'm sorry for being so fierce to u tt day.

Marc's pretty busy this whole week. Indian client came and he has his meetings and projects to complete. Worried about him overtired. Hopefully everyting will be over and weekend to arrive faster for him to rest.

I'm feeling pretty moody ytd.. i tink i might be thinking too much again.. been tinking wat marc said... Honestly speaking i felt abit stressed up being with him. I understand tt his mom is like tt but sometimes i feel tt i'm not good enuff for him.. he has all the good qualities and background.. but i've nothing at all. Listening to wat Shawn(his cousin) and his aunty's conversation made me feel so sad sometimes. like tong ren bu tong ming. it's true that ren bi ren qi shi ren, but i seriously envy them. altho i haf a great and warm family, but i always couldnt get wat i wanted. Even like study too. I reali hope i am reali wat marcus wanted... i dun wish i'll be like his da shao like wat the crazy woman says.. Mayb i'm stil affected by wat the crazy woman says abt us ba.

Bob's coming back le. lookin forward to tt bcos she promised she'll train me back! haha! Anyway i really wish to be of my best b4 i totally disappear from the world of bb... erm or shld i say retire? hahaha.. Life's juz too short to regret anyting...

*praying for ppl in myanmar and china... Pls bless them.. *

2008-05-17T07:51:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since i've updated my blog.. I tink it's been nearly a month the last time i've updated. During end of April last month, i went to china for work.

I took plane to Hongkong for 4 hours then took a cab to ferry terminal to take a ferry to zhong shan. The journey took 1 and half hours. By the time we reach zhong shan it's already late evening like 4pm. Immediately from the ferry terminal, the client send someone to pick us up to the site. I was still tinkin if we are goin to the hotel but no, to the site. Upon reaching the site, immediately we went to the office then translation for me. Becos i went there with a Thai colleague who noe nuts about chinese, i had to do the translation for him. Imagine me? translating! OMG! But luckily i m still able to pull thru everyting! haha.. After that we went to eat dinner. Food in china reali SUCKS! or shld i say the food dun suit my taste at all.! Aft tt we went back into the hotel and sleep.

The next day was the same, site then lunch, then site then dinner again. It's not office for me but site walk. Luckily the weather is damn cooling even there's sun. =) When takin plane back to sg, the client called us to turn back! I was like 'how do u go out when we are at the boarding gate already?' hahaha but luckily we insist on goin back. When the plane touched dwn sg, i was like 'yay! home sweet home!' Afterall, singapore is still the best.. or shld i say home is stil the best! =) Marc picked me up frm the airport and send me home. The next day i had Seafood family outing! =) It was obviously great!

Tinking back of events in May, Lob bro's bday! We practically did nothing but sit in marc's car and he drove us from one place to another! We went downtown east, cine, PS, and finally east coast! We rot at east coast till the clock struck 12 midnight! =) And Happy birthday! Marc n me did a failure thing by bringing matchsticks to ECP! can u believe hw clever we are to light the candles with matchsticks! hahaha But i hope she's happy tt day! =)

Oh ya and mother's day! I bought a jade pendant for ah ma and a SKII foundation for mom! she's freaking happy! =) oh ya and a OSIM ipamper for marc's mom! ok tt's alot of spending this month! a big hole in my pocket! and next month is FATHER'S DAY! OMG!

One of the friday we haf frenly with RP and tt's when ah qin's 21st bday! We lost to RP at the end of 5th quarters. It's been a bad day cos i wasnt performing well at all. bl even said 'Where's the weiyan who can run and jump and has plenty of stamina?' i went dead slient. Where haf i been? i'm not the same anymore for sure. =( i need some motivation.. i need some..

THis week gonna be long weekend again! so happy! but Marc gonna work late today so i'll be alone, sat is training and zf's sis bday chalet at night, sunday i haf no idea wat i m goin to do but for sure i haf to go temple with marc at night.. and mon.. no idea too.. i wanna go sentosa with lion again! i wanna go on holiday! i wanna go somewhere esle where i can take a break and relax without any work probs or anyting. My next holiday will be in july.... thailand i supposed.. end of the yr... hongkong ba... i wanna go tasmania! i wanna go lots of country! =(

Got to continue with my work now.. so i'll pen off here and write someting after i come back from this long weekend! hope my weekend's great! =)

Tired

2008-04-22T05:08:00.000+08:00

It's been a tiring week. Having training after a whole week of sickness is a hell to me man. Went totally out of breath during training, it's like taking me to hell man. Had nv been so useless before man! Cant even run a simple fast break. Was doing some drills to improve our fast attack, and of cos our totally sucky defence. Alot of ppl was absent for that day's training. Qin didnt come too due to her fengmo. i hope she'll recover and come back to the court! Kind of miss her too. hahha actuali i miss everyone. i miss qin, jo, zhengfang, phyllis, estella, huimin, baozhen, boyfrwen, huiqin, jan, siewling, wanying, kelly, bear, kerry, xinfang, willow, and alot others. pls dun be offended if u do not find ur name on the list. i shld juz say, everyone who was from hkn. =) simply miss the outings we had, and the trainings we had tgt, oh and the crappiness from them!

Sunday morning ate mac breakfast! we called mac delivery! hahaha but i onli ate egg muffin n hashbrown. aft 12 plus marc n me start to leave home and went for movie. we went for 2 movie maranthon man! it's tiring! went to see a stupid korean movie and forbidden kingdom. Marc tinks it's crap cos it' s a chinese kungfu movie spoken in english! i kept laughin at tt cos i felt it's weird too to hear the monks speaking chinese! even the jade emperor~! haaha.. aft tt we went waraku to eat. It's nice! we sat at raffles place and chatted for 1 hr man! it's crap man, cos all we chat is all rubbish. he's nt acting his age man and my neighbour even says tt she tot he's as young as me! HAAHHAAHHAHA~ I laugh till i drop man when i heard this! hahahhahaha..

Today i still continue to laugh at him! hahaha oh man i'm evil.. Today's there's np selection so i'll be there to kapo! hahaha meeting jo at the bustop before goin in too. =) cant wait for mi to end work. cos i misss my huang shang and all my np mates! =) goin there to have fun!! yay!!

ok got to run for a meeting! see ya!

hugs!

Replies to all

2008-02-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

I'm here tryin to reply everyone..

Qin,
i'm not blaming u.. i'm not saying u did it on purpose. i always knew u all didnt mean it when saying tt.. all of u will tink more of a joke.. cos it's not the first time our team said tt to mi. I'm sorry bcos of all the tings happening.. i bcame more sensitive.. tt's why i put ur words to heart. I'm juz demoralised cos our teammates kept making this kind of comments. Just put u all in my shoes.. wont u feel demorallised if it's more than 1 person whose makin this kind of comment to u? erm.. dun need sorry la.. i'm just demorallised tt's all.. I'll be back dun worry.

About the drifting part.. after listening to what jo said.. and i agree with it.. there's no who drift away from who.. drift is juz drift.. so ya i m starting to understand this point. I'm just feeling drifted away after i break with her. tt's all. And i had to expect it. I've said all those bcos i miss the times with all of u.. So i'm here to say sorry abt the comment i've made tt u all drift away frm mi. =)

As the team for u not choosing mi... i nv blame u too la.. juz tt i was demoralised tt's why i felt tt way.. it's all linked up. But now i wont care who choose mi or dun choose mi, feel tt i'm useful or useless.. i'll just play my game.. I need to feel this way now.. =)

And i'm happy bcos i noe tt.. u are concern about mi.. tt's why u went to read my blog.. thanks! =) i just need to move on.. need to buck up.. need to step back into my working world. Thanks for everyone whose concerned about mi.. sorry tt i have bcame emo... i'm just trying to open up again, but this idiotic job screwed mi up. hahaha ok..

I'm sorry, qin and others. =)

Hectic Life

2008-02-27T03:30:00.000+08:00

I'm having Hectic life after chinese new year... Chinese new year's juz a period of time for mi to prepare for war onli.. war aft cny to chiong all my work. Sometimes i rather not have holiday which will only results in more work and more work.. super tiring.. it's been so long i've went shopping.. go out with my frens.. to sentosa and of cos my teammates. It's been like a drift between them and mi.. i've not been goin out with them at all... It's partly my work tt made mi so busy.. it's oso bcos they no longer link mi up with them animore.. Mayb becos of her.. But if it's better then so be it then. Sometimes.. then thought of what my mom says made mi sad.. "They are only friends with u now bcos they are young.. When they grow up, they have their own life.. When they haf boyfrens, husband and kids.. it'll no longer be the same.. all of you will eventually split up and walk seperate ways.. " It make sense in some way.. but i just wish we could be the same like last time... but mayb.. it's quite impossible now..

We finally started training after so long.. if i'm correct, i've stopped training for like 1 month le.. do all the runnings made mi sooo tired n weak. Training was quite sad.. i no longer have those strengths i used to have.. those hyper energy i used to have... at the end, we played 5 on 5.. it's comes to splitting of teams.. it made mi super sian.. cos none of them will choose mi.. as i m such a weak center. I just felt useless. But thanks to Janice.. she's the first to choose the centers and she chose mi. =) at least u made mi tink that i'm still useful in some way.. and i played hard. If the team show signs of discouraging... it's so hard to climb back up. I'm trying hard gals.. so pls at least give mi a chance and not toppled mi down without even trying to use mi. I mayb weak.. But i am reali trying hard. Words frm teammates can be discouraging too... I was on a fast attack.. i stopped and i tried to shoot.. and i missed.. one of my teammates commented tt heng she defended mi cos she knew i wont score tt ball. I juz kept quite.. Sometimes..why dont u all tink of hw ppl feels? by saying tt.. there's 2 outcome.. one- u inspired tt person n make her even wan to prove it to u... second- u demorallised tt person n totally made her felt useless.. i supposed u make mi bcome the second one.. I'm totally shocked it's coming out from ur mouth.. i will nv expect it'll come frm u cos all the long u did encourage mi.. it's a total disappointment..

If everyone's saying tt they are staying for mi.. why on earth must they demorallised me? although i noe they didnt do it intentionally... but it hurt mi. I felt so not the same animore in the team.. i felt like an outsider. all of u said i m the one who drift away.. it might be.. but how could i possibly drift away if all of u let mi drift away? sometings it takes 2 to clap. So many ppl said i've change.. i believe i do.. i'm so emo now.. all abt mi is onli work work work.. nth else. nothing in my life interest mi right now.. i duno why i am so emo.. but i'm so tired of acting in front of everyone. mayb seclusion will be a better choice... watever it is.. i'm getting back to my work now...

tt's all folks.

Some idiotic annoying ppl

2008-02-05T03:46:00.000+08:00

Hi first of all.. i need to thanks jo for the new set up of blog. =) Thanks mei! Credits all goes to her! hahaha!

Sorry to start the blog venting my anger.. but i'm too angry and i needed someting to vent on.

I dun understand what the hell My boss( Allen) sees in tt idiot! She's an idiot! Firstly, she could not do aniting to contribute to this company. All she do was to email, msn, email, msn. oh ya not forgetting to tok abt toking on the phone so loud. Can she be more considerate, and stop toking so loud on the phone trying to make the whole world noes that she's busy. She is just making everyone sees tt she's damn busy but she's doin nothing. We could be like doin 2 jobs in 2 weeks but she's onli handling 1 job for like frm the day she came till now! it's more than 3 months le! Cant Allen sees? It's freaking obvious. But instead of asking us to give her more jobs, he told my head to stop gving her ani job but let her concentrate on tt 1 single idiot job! By e way, tt job has been goin on for too long and it's not earning money at all. Why spend so much time n money on tt idiot job? Besides, tt irritating woman's pay is higher than mi! F*&* ! I've done so much and why is tt she got to haf all this previlages? Aint we human? Juz bcos she's wearing low cut and short skirts or shorts to work? And the worst ting is, she NOT PRETTY AT ALL! She's not slim either! Everyday wears like a mutated dumpling with too big boobs!! ARGH! What is it tt she has tt she brainwashed Allen? I'm freakin demoralised everyday looking at her! Just now she was sitting at someone else's table and chatting. Boss pay us to work and not to chat bimbo! i tink she's even worst tt bimbo! Aint malaysian and singaporean in BCI human? Why is it tt a new thai gal who juz entered our company got to go Bali? Wat abt others like joyce? Halim? or keah hui? They worked under u so long but wat did they get? No praises frm you or goin to bali! I dun mind i'm not chosen to go, but it's juz unfair seeing all this unfairness. I just cant stand it!
I'm goin to move to the new unit after cny, i pray tt the idiot woman will not go over. I'll juz kill myself man! Life without hockboon bside me toking cock will be so bored. i wonder hw i would survive there.. mmmmmmm....

Life has been rough.. And hopefully it will be smooth. Oh ya we had our seafood outing on sun! although it's a sentosa day for us, and it rained.. but shoppin ard with seafood fam is so nice.. i'm so happy reali.. =) Thanks stingray n lobster. =) Managed to get my first cny clothes! hahahhaa! oh ya and i changed my phone last week. so happy. I love my LG phone! =) i'm just hoping tt i dun haf to eat med animore. hahahaha. it's irritating. =P

It's holiday mood in my office rite now.. Nobody has the mood to work.. including mi as well. hahaha =)