// WONDER :D

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

3:30 AM

I'm having Hectic life after chinese new year... Chinese new year's juz a period of time for mi to prepare for war onli.. war aft cny to chiong all my work. Sometimes i rather not have holiday which will only results in more work and more work.. super tiring.. it's been so long i've went shopping.. go out with my frens.. to sentosa and of cos my teammates. It's been like a drift between them and mi.. i've not been goin out with them at all... It's partly my work tt made mi so busy.. it's oso bcos they no longer link mi up with them animore.. Mayb becos of her.. But if it's better then so be it then. Sometimes.. then thought of what my mom says made mi sad.. "They are only friends with u now bcos they are young.. When they grow up, they have their own life.. When they haf boyfrens, husband and kids.. it'll no longer be the same.. all of you will eventually split up and walk seperate ways.. " It make sense in some way.. but i just wish we could be the same like last time... but mayb.. it's quite impossible now..

We finally started training after so long.. if i'm correct, i've stopped training for like 1 month le.. do all the runnings made mi sooo tired n weak. Training was quite sad.. i no longer have those strengths i used to have.. those hyper energy i used to have... at the end, we played 5 on 5.. it's comes to splitting of teams.. it made mi super sian.. cos none of them will choose mi.. as i m such a weak center. I just felt useless. But thanks to Janice.. she's the first to choose the centers and she chose mi. =) at least u made mi tink that i'm still useful in some way.. and i played hard. If the team show signs of discouraging... it's so hard to climb back up. I'm trying hard gals.. so pls at least give mi a chance and not toppled mi down without even trying to use mi. I mayb weak.. But i am reali trying hard. Words frm teammates can be discouraging too... I was on a fast attack.. i stopped and i tried to shoot.. and i missed.. one of my teammates commented tt heng she defended mi cos she knew i wont score tt ball. I juz kept quite.. Sometimes..why dont u all tink of hw ppl feels? by saying tt.. there's 2 outcome.. one- u inspired tt person n make her even wan to prove it to u... second- u demorallised tt person n totally made her felt useless.. i supposed u make mi bcome the second one.. I'm totally shocked it's coming out from ur mouth.. i will nv expect it'll come frm u cos all the long u did encourage mi.. it's a total disappointment..

If everyone's saying tt they are staying for mi.. why on earth must they demorallised me? although i noe they didnt do it intentionally... but it hurt mi. I felt so not the same animore in the team.. i felt like an outsider. all of u said i m the one who drift away.. it might be.. but how could i possibly drift away if all of u let mi drift away? sometings it takes 2 to clap. So many ppl said i've change.. i believe i do.. i'm so emo now.. all abt mi is onli work work work.. nth else. nothing in my life interest mi right now.. i duno why i am so emo.. but i'm so tired of acting in front of everyone. mayb seclusion will be a better choice... watever it is.. i'm getting back to my work now...

tt's all folks.